Who’s the old bag?

I read with mounting concern a complaint by a letter writer about the quality of the modern school bag. This set my slow mind moving back to the portable leather carrier with its eager straps tonguing the buckles that was a part of my undistinguished schooldays. Then the schoolbag had leather of rhinoceros hide durability. …

MICHAEL JACOBS: Behind the buffoon, another Max—AUSTRALIA DAY HONOURS

He won (an) award at New Year & this is a beaut piece I reckon [Handwritten note from Grandma] Maxwell Edgar Fatchen, AM, looked dismayed. “It’s no good, Max, you can’t run away and say you’re too busy. I’ve been assigned.” As he heard the words, 59 years of shyness and modesty wrote themselves on …

A handyman

A telephone with a hand attached, which will be able to caress by remote control, may one day be available, says a US journal on electronics. The hand may be capable of pointing, feeling, touching, caressing under remote control over a telephone line, the magazine says. Hands have been attached to our telephone for years. …

Giving the Swiss a miss

The democratic Swiss propose to give their women the right to cash-payments from their husbands for staying home as housewives. The money would be in addition to housekeeping expenses and would have to be the same as the husband had for his own pleasures. This news has been processed in a less hilly and less …

Hot under the dollar

The Reserve Bank of Australia is considering making money last longer by coating notes with plastic or impregnating them with stronger materials. I have been conducting my own research but not with conspicuous success. I tried to preserve a $10 note by hiding it in a picture frame but next moment my wife was brandishing …

Lip service

Queensland’s kiss-a-cop campaign for happier relations with the Law reminds me that I have been an advocate of kissing for a long time. In fact I’ve been a member of the CIB (cuddle-in-bed) squad for as long as I can remember. It’s my contention that it’s better to kiss than hiss and to love than …

Struck off the rolls

The news that a WA tycoon is making a bid for a share in Rolls-Royce parked off intense financial activity in our house. My wife read it in a voice full of toast, tension and last years marmalade and I took another dry biscuit with a hand that sweated slightly. Frankly, I was surprised at …